Never Say NeverOne of the piercings which I NEVER thought I'd get was a septum piercing. At first, I didn't like the "bullring" look of them at all; after a while, though, the look grew on me. However, as a woman of a "certain age" I thought that a septum piercing would look fairly ridiculous on my face. What changed my mind? I decided to get one after all after I considered the particular advantage of this piercing: namely, that it can be hidden if desired, with the proper jewelry. Since I work in a professional office, I am limited in what I can get in terms of visible piercings. Another factor influencing my decision is the fact that I am writing a book on body piercing, so not only is every piercing a leap in my personal knowledge of the subject, a septum piercing would be ideal for those occasions when I am out and about promoting the book. It would allow me to have another fairly prominent and visible piercing, while still letting me hide it during the regular "work week." My lovely and talented co-author, Elayne Angel, agreed to pierce me when I visited her in New Orleans. I chose her to do this piercing instead of the person I consider my "regular" piercer (Jeff at Aware in Santa Fe) for two reasons: One, I read the excellent article that Elayne had written in The Point about septum piercings, in particular the technical aspects of getting a straight piercing, and knew she had given some serious effort into her technique and proficiency; and two, we already had a friendship and working relationship and I wanted her to pierce me to bring us closer together. In my opinion, piercing is a very intimate experience, and not necessarily in the sense of sexually intimate (although it certainly can be), but the relationship between piercer and piercee is important and can be very close as a result of this invasive breaking of the skin. In December of 2004, I visited Elayne and her husband, Jake, in New Orleans and had the privilege of being a guest in their home. I saw the sights of New Orleans, and we worked on polishing our book proposal. We decided to do the piercing the day before I returned home. I had already been given a "behind the scenes" tour of Rings of Desire, so that day, I merely took a look at the jewelry available. Jen helped me pick out not only the jewelry I would wear in my septum, but new jewelry for one of my lobe piercings, a niobium CBR with a clear jeweled bead. Very pretty! I chose a 14 gauge charcoal niobium circular barbell for the septum. They didn't have any charcoal colored balls, so I went with stainless steel. In the piercing room, Elayne had me sit down while she prepped. I wasn't nervous or scared at all about the piercing, because I had complete confidence in Elayne (and, after all this was my tenth or so body piercing, However, I think we were both a little nervous about the experience in general, because of our friendship. Elayne first gave me a tissue (for my eyes, I think) and cleaned my nose. Then she spent some considerable time looking at the configuration of my nose and septum. Since septum piercings can be tricky to get straight, she used some techniques she had developed to evaluate, measure, and mark, ensuring a straight piercing. And guess what? I had "challenging" anatomy-meaning that my hills and valleys were not symmetrical. Figures, doesn't it? She had me lay down on her table, with my head dropped down over the edge. I spent some time in that position before the piercing while she was marking, etc., and I have to say that this was the most uncomfortable part of the entire procedure. There's a bit of a strain on the neck and it's a very vulnerable position. The actual piercing really didn't hurt much at all, and my eyes didn't even water. I'm a good piercee! The jewelry insertion is always a little bit uncomfortable, though. I always compare it to birthing the placenta after giving birth-an unpleasant bit of aftermath. Anyway, we got the jewelry in, I got to sit up and-voila! It was crooked! Damn. Perhaps due to my anatomy, perhaps due to the fact that we were both a bit nervous, it was slightly, but surely crooked. I think we were both a bit disappointed, especially Angel, because she wanted this piercing to go well. But I assured her I would play with it to see if I could get is straight after a while, that I was happy with it. And I was. I was a little sore the next day, but nothing too bad. I wore the jewelry up for the next 2 days while I was still traveling, and only flipped it down when I returned home. For aftercare, I used emu oil on it, and salt and lavender soaks. I really had no trouble healing it at all, except I found that pressing on the tip of my nose still hurt after a few months, which surprised me. It continued to "favor" one side, but with soaking and the oil, I was able to move it freely to where I wanted it, thus eliminating the crookedness. It was fun having a very "visible" piercing. I did get strange looks now and then, but very few comments. I only wore the jewelry up for work. The first thing I did as I left for work was take the jewelry down. I wasn't completely happy with the look of the circular barbell, thinking it a bit too reminiscent of boogers. However, I was totally surprised by how sensual the piercing was. The feel of the jewelry subtly moving was very pleasant. I bought a beautiful tapered oval stainless steel CBR with a clear jewel from Body Circle and wore it for a week of vacation (when I went to the APP convention in Las Vegas). I was thrilled with it! It was beautiful and I wished I could wear it all the time. After my vacation, the night before I was scheduled to return to work, I decided to try to change back my jewelry by myself. Big mistake! I could NOT get my circular barbell back in. I felt like such a fumble-fingered dumbass. I tried for an hour that night; and an hour the next night and no go. I was disappointed, but surprisingly philosophical about the whole thing. Having to fiddle with little bitty holes is one reason why I a) don't change my jewelry a whole lot; and b) prefer larger gauges. Will I get it re-pierced? Probably. I have to say that I liked the look of "permanent" (not retainer-type) jewelry there better, so I may wait until that mythical time in the future when I no longer have to work a straight job. So, even though I lost it after four months, it was a good piercing and a good experience. I guess the moral of this story is: never say never 'cause you may surprise yourself at the piercings you will get.