I was just sitting here thinking a Reese Cup would taste awesome right now. And that got me thinking how do you eat your Reese Cup? What a great question for the Tribe. Man I love those things.

Top Ten Signs Your Spouse is Having a Cyber Affair

10 LATELY SHE SITS AT THE COMPUTER NAKED

9 AFTER SIGNING OFF HE ALWAYS HAS A CIGARETTE

8 THE GIANT RUBBER INFLATIBLE DISK DRIVE

7 IN THE MORNING THE COMPUTER SCREEEN IS ALL FOGGED UP

6 HE HAS GOTTEN AMAZINGLY GOOD AT TYPING WITH ON HAND.

Men and Women
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:

Show up naked.
Bring beer

Roses are red

Violets are corny,

When I think of you

Oh baby I get horny,

Eat me,

Beat me,

Bite me,

Blow me,

Suck me,

me,

Very Slowly,

If you kiss me,

Don’t be sassy,

Use your tongue and make it nasty!!!

10 KEYS TO SEXUAL BLISS

Everyone wants great sex, but how do you get it? It takes a lot of ingredients, such as having the right attitude, trusting your partner and getting over your hang-ups. But it’s a worthwhile endeavor, because once you have the elements in place you can look forward to a more fulfilling sex life. From letting it happen to desire and foreplay, therapist Arlene Goldman lets us in on the 10 keys to sexual bliss.

1. Let it Happen You can’t force great sex to happen; but you can allow it to.

HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:

compliment her,
cuddle her,
kiss her,
caress her,
love her,
stroke her,
tease her,
comfort her,
protect her,
hug her,
hold her,
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,
listen to her,
care for her,
stand by her,
support her,
go to the ends of the earth for her....

HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN:

Show up naked.
Bring beer

I'm Not Saying She's Easy, But

She's been on her knees more
times than Billy Graham.

She's been laid on more kitchen
floors than linoleum.

She's done more screwing than
Black and Decker.

She's responsible for more merry
men than Robin Hood.

She's turned more tricks than
Harry Houdini.

She's been boarded more times
than Amtrak.

She's been mounted more often
than Trigger.

She's entertained more troops
than Bob Hope.

She's been turned more ways than
Rubik's Cube.

She's spent more time under men
than barstools.

She's had more turnovers than the
Internati

This has got to be one of the cleverest things I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

I want to know

if you'll let me show

How much you mean to me,

and show you I can be

everything you desire.

I'll light your fire,

and treat you right,

and let you win our fights.

I want to be good to you,

and I promise to do

all that you want me to.

So, will you be with me?

Before - You take my breath away
After - I feel like I'm suffocating

Before - Twice a night
After - Twice a month

Before - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before - Saturday Night Fever
After - Monday Night Football

Before - Don't stop
After - Don't start

Before - Is that all you're having?
After - Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

Before - It's like I'm living in a dream
After - It's like he lives in a dorm

Before - $60/doz.