I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend

and I had been dating for over a year, and so we

decided to get married. There was only one

little thing bothering me...It was her beautiful

younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very

tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She

would regularly bend down when she was near

me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to

be deliberate. Because she never did it when she was

near anyone else.

Nudist Colony

A man joined a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day he took off his clothes and started to wander around the area. A gorgeous petite blonde walked by, and the man immediately got an erection.

The woman noticed his erection, came over to him and asked, 'Did you call for me?'

The man replied, 'No, what do you mean?'

She said, 'You must be new here . Let me explain.

This has got to be one of the cleverest things I've seen in a while.
Someone out there either has too much spare time or is deadly at Scrabble.
(Wait till you see the last one)!

COUNCIL COMPLAINTS LETTERS
The following are genuine clips from : Council complaint letters:

1. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
2. He has this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
3. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
4. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
5. I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
6.

A woman asks her husband, 'Would you like some bacon and eggs? A slice of
toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?'??

He declines.. 'Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this
Viagra,' he says. 'It's really taken the edge off my appetite.'??


At lunchtime she asked if he would like something. 'A bowl of soup,
homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?'


He declines. 'The Viagra,' he says, 'really trashes my desire for food.'

Come dinner time, she asks if he wants anything to eat. 'would you like a
juicy rib-eye steak and scrumptious apple pie?

RECTUM STRETCHER

While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge
only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing
smirk we all know and love, and asked, 'What's your hurry?'

To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher?

A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the Afghan Desert ..
During his first inspection of the outfit, he noticed a camel hitched up behind the mess tent. He asked the Sergeant why the camel was kept there. The nervous sergeant said, 'Sir, as you know, there are 250 men here on the post and no women. Sometimes the men have urges. That's why we have
Molly The Camel.

The Captain said, 'I can't say that I condone this, but I can
understand about the 'urges', so the camel can stay.'

About a month later, the Captain starts having his own 'urges'.

This is further to Mike's blog...some real gems in here...enjoy!

Answers to exam questions
The following questions were set in last year's GCSE examination in Swindon, Wiltshire ( U.K. )

These are genuine answers (from 16 year olds)...........and they WILL breed.

Q. Name the four seasons
A. Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar

Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink
A. Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists

Q. How is dew formed
A.

So this guy gets referred to a Urologist by his GP for a bit of a penis problem.

Man has a $500 note tattooed on his . His wife says, "Why have you done that?"
He replies, "For one - I like to see my money grow, secondly I like to play with my money, thirdly I like having money in my hand and last but not least, next time you want to blow $500, you can stay at home to do it!!!!!!!!!!!