Great blog Hairy! I think you have really made a good point. I have wondered the same thing myself. I think we have trained ourselves to believe everyone is against us, rather than see that particular problem within ourselves. We as humans are not the best at introspection. It is much easier to look at the faults of others, surely much easier to swallow! I for one am THE MOST GUILTY of doing this. I have really worked on this over the last couple of years with little progress, but progress anyway. It has made my life so much easier to live. I heard in a sermon at church the following phrase and I try to apply it at all times. "See people with the value God sees in them." Whether you are a christian or not, this is a very practical way of seeing the world. Now I tend to see critism as positive and believe those around me are trying to show me what I can not see. So no matter what your belief system, that one phrase will make all the difference in the world in how we treat people and ourselves. I for one am looking forward to the other responses from the tribe on this one.

This is a great blog Hairy.

I was recently in a complicated relationship where one person was always waiting for the shoe to drop, the brick to fall, assuming the worst all the time. It gets old and became it's own self-fulfilling prophecy.

I believe in the people currently in my life and always give them the benefit of the doubt. If I get hurt then it's a chance to learn.

A positive outlook is hard to keep and I struggle with it myself but always try to look for the best in everyone.

You know hairy, I think it's great that you try and see the good in others. I strive for that myself. But, we are human, and do make mistakes from time to time. Sometimes, we are just having a bad day, maybe feeling insecure, and Bam!!! Everything we see or hear is taken the wrong way. Happens to the best of us,lol. The point is to apologize if needed, shake it off, and never do it again. hahaha Nah, life goes on and maybe you learn something from it or not. Just keep smiling and don't take things too seriously(unless needed). It's way too easy to get stressed, when we should be trying to find the humor in life.Laughter is the best medicine!! These assumptions are to help give us some humility and to show us that nobody's perfect in this world. We're all just as messed up as the next person.lol Gives us all something in common.

Oh, and I've got to say: All this negativity is one of the main reasons of why I do not watch or read the news(unless it's from the independent media) anymore. It's kinda hard to have faith in people when all you see is the dregs of society getting all of the attention. I want to see some stories about good,decent,hard working people that are helping others. The kind of people that would not think twice about giving you the shirt off of their back. I know they're out there!!

Lunachick hit the nail on the head, in her comment about she only wathes independent media. I did the same thing and my outlook improved tremendously. You make a conscious choice in what to baste your mind and soul in. Sometimes really bad things happen to us all, but sitting in front of the television or sitting around with a bunch of negative doom and gloom people on your break at work or bar or wherever feeds you with only the bad stuff. Instead take a walk, grab a really good book or movie or call your close friend that you haven't talked to in a while.

I think the world is filled with a lot of rotten tomatos, but they tend to get the most attention for whatever reason. Take almost any reality show. Usually the general premise is to stab somebody in the back to win or get the most airtime.

Lunachick, I love the uplifting stories statement. There are certainly enough great talented people on this site alone to get a website going. I don't have the computer savvy but I would be glad to contribute stories. If we all did from our areas of the Country and World it would be cool. Somebody needs to start tipping the scale by showing all the good out there.

I would still go to this site, the people are great, pretty non-judmental and edgy, even if it's underneath a business suit or evening gown.

Hairy,Your right,alot of the time people look for the worst,maybe because the world can be such a f,cked up place sometimes,not sure.I wish people would look into their soul before reacting,,,for the most that would make life in general so much better and more full filling for sure.For what its worth bud,I knew you were joking from the get go.And my motto is "Give to Others What You Want To Receive" life is way too short to do any different,but I know this is easier said than done sometimes....Take care Tribers and Give and Laugh its good for the soul !!!

Harry,
I don't think its necessarily human nature to always see the worst in how someone treats us or what they say to us. I think some people, by nature, are suspicious and pessimistic. But I have also seen people who, by nature, seem to be casual and laid back, and always trust and see the good in others. Who knows why we turn out one way or the other. I'm sure part of it has to do with how they saw their parents handle being insulted, and treated badly. I think part of it also has to do with whether a person has been burned over and over, in the past. Not that that makes it right, and it probably isn't healthy, but is sort of a coping mechanism.

As far as things go around this site, I see a lot of people being supportive of one anothers' piercings and encouraging each other along, giving honest opinions when asked, sympathizing when someone loses a piercing, etc. But I have seen a couple blogs recently with name calling and really ugly stuff. I have to say, this really saddened me, and I replied and spoke my mind, but then at the same time they really surprised me, so maybe I was looking for the best and expecting to find it, at least most of the time.

Sure, I see things I don't like sometimes, I mean this is large diverse group of people, there's no way I'm gonna like everything everyone says all the time, but neither do I feel attacked by them either. I skim on by some things, ignore other ones.

To be honest, I am not this easy going in my "offline" life, I am not nearly as patient with other drivers, coworkers, family. I need to work on this.

Great blog, Hairy; and great responses, all.

Many years ago, my oldest (and quite pessimistic) sister said to me: "You're always lucky!" She wasn't happy when she said it. And it made me feel guilty, like I was doing something wrong.

Years later I got a fortune from a Chinese cookie that said: "Happiness Brings Good Luck." You know how once something gets on your radar, examples appear everywhere? I've come to the conclusion that this particular "fortune" keeps on giving.

I have a good friend who expects the worst of everything. She is convinced she is merely 'preparing for the worst.' She is a single mom in a difficult situation and believes it is her responsibility to be prepared to save her family when the worst happens. I happen to think that always assuming the worst invites the negative energy in - and as jwiggles said, it can become a self fulfilling prophecy.

But hey, we all have good days and bad days, and goodness knows our state of mind will have a lot to do with how we handle some of the lovely trials and tribulations that life throws at us.

nice blog bighairy. i agree with you. ppl get offended too easily these days. i try to see the best in everyone, and if they've done something that could possibly hurt me, i'd like to think there's a good explanation for it or that i'm sure it wasn't done on purpose. am i being to naive? i know i've done some things that may have hurt/disappointed ppl, but it wasn't intentional, most often just some miscommunication. i don't think i have any bad bones in my body, well the type to try to hurt ppl. i just care too much!!

I like what you said Hairy. Excellent blog!

Excellent blog Hairy!

It's true. We all live within ourselves...meaning that all we know as individuals is what we have experienced. We have the ability to absorb knowledge from simply reading/watching and/or talking with others, but even after all that we are still individuals and draw on our own experiences when interacting with the world.

One never knows whether or not the person who reacts badly does so because of a past experience, a bad day, or that they are tired, etc.

I tend to give people the benefit of a doubt. If someone is consistently malicious, then I can safely assume they are not someone I would want to associate with and I make sure to keep my distance. However, that being said, I am a very laid back person and so open-minded, that it takes quite a bit for me to assume someone is being malicious to begin with.

Everyone has different tolerances, and their life experiences are what dictates whether or not they find something offensive, malicious, rude or obnoxious. I also try to keep that in mind when interacting with others.