I got my ears pierced five times as a child. All by gun. All infected, swollen, allergenic, or otherwise effed up. But in October of 2008 I decided to pierce my nose. I really didn't feel like paying a piercer to do something so small and simple. [Rebellious little shit-disturber. I know. Stupid kid. I know.]

HOWEVER!: I told my mom that since I had such bad luck with ear piercings, if the nose got infected or I had allergic reactions to the jewlery, or whatever I would take it out and never bother her about body piercings ever again. So naturally, she agreed. I'm a diplomatic, manipulative and intelligent brat, so it's not hard to get my parents to go along with something as long as I provide information and a strong case, not to mention a back up in case something goes wrong.

So I went to Claire's 'cause I suck like that and bought a pair of silver nose studs. [Wait for it.]

I mic-stabbed my nostril all the way to the cartilage [avec une sewing needle. Great, right? Yah.] Then I hit the cartilage and can I just tell you: So I'm sitting in my bathroom, where the temperature suddenly rose about ten degrees, and I'm like "Why the hell is it so hot in here?" So a couple of minutes pass with a needle in my nose and I'm trying to force it through. I'm in serious pain from the irritation of nerves when I go into my room to get the water by my bed. It was full and I slammed it in seconds flat.

So I'm sitting on the cover of my toilet looking in the mirror and thinking, "Ya know what? I came this far, I bought jewlery, my stupid ass is not giving up. I'm a relentless punk in every other aspect, why should I quit now?"

Jab! And a loooong clear booger comes out of my nose from obvious trauma. But I clean myself up and figure out a way to get the stud in.

I show my parents and they're all happy. Thankfully, my dad didn't puke, he just said I was crazy, to which I responed with my usual, "Thanks!"

But then the next day I figure out that silver oxodizes inside fresh wounds and I'm thinking, "Duh! Who was I blowing in Chemistry when we learned that? PSH!" So I go to buy plastic studs because my body can't have an allergic reaction to plastic [Yes, I cheated my own system. Yes, I found a loophole in my promise. Yes, I'm going to be a lawyer.]

So now that nothing is wrong, my mom said I should go get my ears pierced [professionally.] She also agreed to a navel piercing and even my dad said I could get the tattoo that I designed for my eighteenth birthday.

So I may be the first female Supreme Court Justice that has guaged ears, a tattoo, and body piercings aside from ears. But if that doesn't work out, vote for Andi for President. Kay, guys?